A Ploughman’s is an assembly, not a recipe — but assembly has rules. Done well, it is one of the most satisfying lunches in the British canon. Done badly, it is a sandwich-shop cheese plate. Here is how we put one together.
Three cheeses, three roles
One mature — a proper cloth-bound cheddar, the kind that crumbles. One creamy — a Tunworth, a Baron Bigod, or a wedge of brie. One strong — Stilton, Stichelton, or Roquefort if you must. Three is the right number; less feels mean, more feels indecisive.
The bread
Crusty, sliced thick. A country loaf or a good bloomer. Butter, salted, at room temperature. Don’t pre-butter — give people the slab and the knife.
The pickles
Branston is non-negotiable. Pickled onions — proper malt-vinegar ones, not balsamic substitutes. Piccalilli for colour and bite. A good chutney to go with the cheddar.
The extras
A wedge of crisp apple. A slice of pork pie or some good ham. A few cornichons if you have them. Salt and cracked pepper for the radishes.
Serve on a board with a knife sharp enough to cut the cheese. A pint of bitter is the right drink. So is a Pimm’s. So is silence.
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